Dharma Discussion Guidelines
We may invoke the name of Avalokita before the Dharma sharing begins. “We invoke your name, Avalokiteshvara. We aspire to learn your way of listening in order to help relieve the suffering in the world. You know how to listen in order to understand. We invoke your name in order to practice listening with all our attention and open-heartedness. We will sit and listen without any prejudice. We will sit and listen without judging or reacting. We will sit and listen in order to understand. We will sit and listen so attentively that we will be able to hear what the other person is saying and also what is being left unsaid. We know that just by listening deeply we already alleviate a great deal of pain and suffering in the other person.” Chanting from the Heart, Parallax Press, 2006, p. 30
After Heart of the Blue Ridge Sangha has a Dharma reading, we begin the Dharma discussion that follows with a reminder: “We now have an opportunity to share where the reading this morning has touched us, to share something from our practice, or to share some success or some difficulty to which others can speak. We will say our names, and practice deep listening with compassion, using mindful speech.”
- Practice deep listening and loving, mindful speech. Topics emanate from our life and practice. It is best to avoid discussions that are theoretical rather than experiential. Even though we have the intention to listen deeply, our mind may wander. If we are mindful of our thoughts and inner dialog, we can choose to come back to being fully present with the person speaking. The practice of deep listening creates the opportunity for others to feel safe in the support of the Sangha within the atmosphere of harmony the Sangha creates. Our speech, like our listening, is the fruit of our practice, a response from within. Speaking from the heart about topics that emanate from our life and practice involves speaking with awareness in a way that could be of benefit to others as well as ourselves; speaking with kindness, connecting with others. We all benefit from hearing each other’s insights and direct experience of the practice.
- Bowing. Before speaking we may wish to bow. When we bow we are signaling that we would like to share. The Sangha bows back, acknowledging that we are ready to listen deeply. When we are finished we let the Sangha know by bowing again. Knowing that we will not be interrupted creates a safe and harmonious environment.
- Saying our name, each time, before we speak. This practice fosters a sense of inclusion for newcomers, and aids those who might have some difficulty remembering names.
- Avoid giving advice, even if it is asked for. Speaking from our own experience eliminates the opportunity to give advice. If someone asks for advice and a practice that we have worked with comes to mind, it is fine to share our experience.
- All that arises is confidential. “What is said here stays here.” Confidentiality secures the safety of the group and helps avoid gossip. Also, after the Dharma Discussion time, if we want to talk with someone about what they said in the group, we first ask if it is okay. Sometimes a person does not want to talk more about what they said and this is a respectful way to honor that.
- Refrain from speaking a second time. We refrain from speaking again until it appears that everyone who wants to speak has spoken. This ensures that everyone can speak and provides a space where we can benefit from all of our Sangha wisdom.
- Share with the whole circle. Whatever we share is for the benefit of all those present. We do not engage in cross-talk with another participant. If we ask a question we ask the whole group and if we answer a question we speak to the whole group and not just the person who asked.
Adapted from “The Importance of the Dharma Discussion Guidelines,” Mindfulness Bell, Winter/Spring, 2008;”Deep Listening,” Mindfulness Bell, Summer 2009; and Friends on the Path by Thich Nhat Hanh, Parallax Press, 2002
May these guidelines support and nourish our Sangha, and strengthen the practice of mindfulness in our beloved community. June, 2010
